SMOKE: Dirty Old Men
Originally published: 28 October 2003
I was reading an article on Ananova.com yesterday about Rod Stewart (yup - he's still not dead yet) and how hard-done by he feels about all the criticism levelled at him by the media over his relationship with model Penny Lancaster, who at 32 is 26 years younger than the 58-year old former rock star.
The 26-year age gap is exactly the same as the age difference between ex-Beatle Paul McCartney and his wife Heather Mills - he is 60 and she is 24 - yet nobody bitches about him and his relationship.
Now while I really don't give all that much of a toss about ageing rock stars and their love problems, it's always killed me that men who date younger women - or indeed even find them attractive - are seen as "dirty old men". Why would this be?
Women who date younger studs (think Demi Moore here) are seen as expressing their sexuality and are told to "Go, girl", but older men who grab a nice young piece of female ass are seen as being as dirty, lecherous and one step away from paedophilia.
Yet a tight, firm, voluptuous young babe in hotpants and bikini top is a far more attractive thing to a man - no matter what age he is - than a droopy-titted octogenarian with a rinse of purple through whatever patches of hair she's got left.
Just because you get older doesn't mean you suddenly start finding other old folks attractive, although obviously not all older women are necessarily unattractive.
At age 31 I still find young ladies attractive, although to be honest I usually prefer a hottie in her thirties to a youthful but inexperienced 18-year old. Not that I have all the opportunity in the world to be running after blossoming teens, but you get my drift.
But what happens when I get to 60? Do I suddenly have to rip down the Britney Spears posters and replace them with a gallery of Mother Theresa stills?
No - I'm still the same bloke I was 40 years ago, although by age 60 I very much doubt I'll be the ripped, chiseled hunk I am now. While we may get older, it's still the aesthetic appeal of younger women that turns us on.
It's the natural way of the world - when a woman (or man, for that matter, albeit to a slightly lesser degree) is young she is as attractive as she's ever going to be on a purely aesthetic level (I'm not going to go into all the facets of a person that can make them attractive here - I'm merely talking about "pull factor"), and the biological reason for this is that she has to appeal to a man at that age in order to get one to be her partner.
By the time she gets older she is supposed to have snared her man already, procreated with him and be raring their kids together, and once that has happened - and her body has changed - her looks really don't matter as much as when she was seeking a life partner.
I'm not saying that our modern society has to tolerate this point of view, or that the only goal in life for women is to meet men and be a good wife for them. But biologically speaking I'm sure that was the intention behind our design, although I'm open to views to the contrary.
The problem lies with our modern society, which bucks the biological sense of our primitive ancestors and leans towards equality of the sexes.
Young, hot women are stuffed in our faces through the media, whereas in olden times a bird turned you on, you grabbed her and made her your wife in order to bear your children.
These days casual sex - without ties - is the ticket, and husbands and wives are seen as somewhat arcane amongst the trendier, more with-it members of our society. But that's not the way it's always been.
Times have changed and humans are going against the natural way of their design, and while I see it as a Good Thing, and necessary to the evolution of our species, it doesn't mean it's a natural thing.
However - even though the natural way may be for women to preen in order to get a man, men are not the same in the slightest. While many men do make an effort to look their best and be attractive to women, a lot of the time they don't have to - women are far less judgmental than men in terms of their requirements.
Obviously that's a generalisation - just take a look at all the dirty, dirty birdies on our forum - but I believe that for the most part it's true.
I've seen many a hottie on the arm of a beer-bellied, filthy bastard - women have far more of an ability to look past the outward appearance and find the goodness within.
Women are more desperate than men to find a life partner, whereas men tend towards the aesthetic rather than the innate goodness or qualities of a woman.
Is this wrong? Maybe. But it's also the way it is, much as our permissive society would like to believe otherwise.
With this in mind - men are always likely to look first at the aesthetic appeal before delving into the complexities of emotional stability, child-bearing capabilities and general intelligence.
Hence it makes sense that no matter what age men are they still find a sweet young girl with silky, perky tits, full, wet lips and a pair of pins that would force a bishop to kick in not only a stained glass window, but the the face of the pastor as well - a far better option than a wrinkled, greying fuddy-duddy with no teeth and a walking stick.
Whatever the case I just don't see what the problem is in men preferring a youthful woman to an older one - as long as nobody is getting hurt and everyone is happy, who is anyone to make a judgment as to what anyone else should or should not find attractive?
If a young woman wants to get it on with an older bloke - what's the problem? Shes not seen as a sick Pig with an old-man fetish, yet the bloke is seen as a dirty old man. Not quite gender equality, is it?
To take it further - remember Anna Nicole Smith and the 94-year old geezer she married? She only married him for his fortune, and while he may have been old I'm sure he was aware of the fact that all she wanted was his cash.
But he didn't mind - she gave him something he obviously felt he couldn't get from an older woman, or maybe he just fancied her extreme breasts, but the point is that it was his choice to marry her.
Does the reason why he married her matter? Both got what they wanted - she got the cash, he got the tits, everyone was happy. For the five minutes it took for him to keel over from heart failure.
How is that so bad?
I just find that the quest for female equality is always one-sided and stacked in favour of the woman, and while I'm all for equality - that's what it must be. Equal.
So I hope that Uncle Rod shags his young thing pretty, and that he spoils her rotten as part of the bargain. But to call him dirty for it is simply wrong.
It's actually pretty clever.
All Smoked Out,